I had a revelation today, and finally figured out why women in Nashville typically live to be one hundred and fifty years old. It’s the hairspray. Out at the nursing home there is a beauty parlor that is always packed with ladies in curlers sitting under the drier. Girlfriend, you’d better believe that you might be 98 and in a wheelchair with dementia and one whole side of your body paralyzed, but your hairdo is going to be permed and teased until the day you go to Glory. And yes, those nails are going to be manicured too! I’m telling you, in many cases, the hairspray is literally the only thing holding these women together. And it doesn’t end there; Miss Pearl tells me that you have to have an advanced hair styling qualification before you can even be considered for a place at the local School of Mortuary Science.
Nashville girls, they got big hair for a reason.
Nashville girls, they don’t go out of style.
So tease them curls, jack ’em up to Jesus.
God love you, we need more of you Nashville girls.
The song’s been recorded by Terri Clark, with Reba McEntire, Sarah Evans and Martina McBride, but no one does it like Gretchen and Matraca. They performed it recently at a Planned Parenthood benefit here in town, and you can see them singing it here, at about 20.28 on the video. In fact, you can watch the whole show. I didn’t have time to get there because I was looking after Big Daddy, but I watched the show this afternoon and it was awesome. They both played new material and it is worth making some time to enjoy it. And if you do, please consider making a donation to Planned Parenthood.
God knows, we are all too busy around here looking after elderly women to have to worry about more children.
© Copyright 2011, Southern Dysfunction