Wedding Banquet

I feel as though I need to apologise for my rudeness about English cuisine. In actual fact, the whole gourmet food thing has caught on over here in a big way in the past couple of decades, and these days most of my friends here are able to name over six kinds of vegetable other than potatoes. It’s a transformation!

Most of the credit needs to go to the big supermarket chains, which started issuing free recipe cards awhile back, as a means of educating the masses and promoting the products that they were being forced to import from the Continent as part of the whole European Union deal. At my local Tesco’s this week, for example, in the town of Addlestone in Surrey, there were hardly any cards left, because everyone wants to cook food that is appropriate for the Royal Wedding celebrations.

From the picture, it appears that the thing to do is to get some Union Jack toothpicks and stick them in little pork pies:

Then for the main event, we are serving a revolting delicious-looking appetizer:

Spiced Prawn Tarts

Followed by

Whole Roast Leg of Lamb with a Minty Salsa Verde

And, to finish:

Berry Slump with Clotted Cream

Where are the vegetables, I hear you asking? Look closely, oh ye of little faith! For there is a cherry tomato and rocket (arugula) garnish with those prawns, which include some scallions and chopped avocado. The salsa verde has mint and parsley in it, and there are three different kinds of frozen berries in that slump. I make that nine different things containing vitamins in a single meal. So there.

Besides, people on this side of the Pond don’t have to worry about things like animal fat and starch, because they have a National Health Service. Duh!

And another thing. If you dress the kids up in prince or princess costumes tomorrow and take them to Pizza Express, they will give you all the dough balls they can eat. Oh Junior, I am so sorry that you are stuck in Tornado-land, just think of how much fun that would have been!

© Copyright 2011, Southern Dysfunction



Filed under Food

2 responses to “Wedding Banquet

  1. Free dough balls??? Color me royally impressed!!!

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