Monthly Archives: May 2011


Well wouldn’t you know it? The world is coming to an end and my internet connection decides to die first. Very inconvenient that, but I have managed to find a hotspot this morning so that I can sign on before I go to Jesus sometime later on today.

I have been looking for signs of the End Times, but evidence is pretty thin on the ground here in the UK. About the only weird thing that has happened to me recently is that I met a dog in a pub in Windsor last weekend who looks alot like the new Duchess of Cambridge.

Junior, I have redecorated your bedroom and I want you to know that it was really gross, but now it is pink. Think of it as a parting gift. I am really going to miss all of y’all who don’t get raptured with me, but am looking forward to making new friends in heaven, and in particular this woman.

And that’s about it. I have clean underpants on and I flossed after breakfast, so I am in pretty good shape.

Bye y’all!

© Copyright 2011, Southern Dysfunction



Filed under Church

Boat People

© Copyright 2011, Southern Dysfunction


Filed under Thames

The Party’s Over

Well, it’s back to reality in the UK. Folks here emerged this week from their two-week-long party haze and had to go back to work, even the Duchess of Cambridge, apparently, who attempted to prove that she was still an ordinary person by going out for groceries. I don’t know about you, but I bet she puts that tiara back on the minute she gets in the door and prances around the house. That’s what I would be doing if I were her, anyway.

Of course, the whole thing looked pretty stupid when it turned out that while everyone in London was either drunk or badly dressed or both, President Obama was wiping out Osama Bin Laden.  Thank God he and Michelle weren’t invited, because it would have been really humiliating for him to have had him taken out while he was attending the Royal Wedding. Sheesh!

Anywho, our poor Prime Minister, who had to deal with his wife’s whole hat ordeal with a monumental hangover, was then woken up in the middle of the night to be told the news. Totally understandable in the circumstances that he panicked and sent off a container-load of these as a sort of thank-you present to SEAL Team 6. At least they were half-price…

© Copyright 2011, Southern Dysfunction


Filed under Shopping