Yesterday was a big day up here in heaven because, now that the Rapture has happened and all the kinfolk could be here, Mary and Joseph decided to go ahead and tie the knot. Given the fact that she had been planning her big day for two thousand two hundred years, you will not be surprised to know that everything was perfect, down to the last detail.
And she chose me to be her best woman! Phew! What an honor! I got to escort her on her donkey ride to meet the bridegroom on the bridge in the center of town.
Like always, I cried buckets at the ceremony. By the way, that cherub who Mary is holding is actually her grandson. Unconventional? Certainly! But then, Mary never was one to play strictly by the rules, was she?
As you can see, St Peter officiated. My ancient Aramaic is a little rusty, but I think I heard him mutter something like ‘Crazy English. What do they want the donkey for? She could have used the Mercedes.’ By heavenly tradition, Joseph had to give him a big bottle of
ouzo ambrosia just to get him to show up. Seriously.
All in all, it was a very special day. And I just knew that all of y’all down there would be thrilled to know that Mary and Joseph are living happily ever after. In heaven.