Back to Earth

I know it has been a long time, since my last post from Greece Heaven. The thing is, I’ve been sulking. It has rained every day for the past two weeks, and I can’t even get any boat painting done. But at last, we are having a nice day and I have perked up. Besides, I’m in walking distance of Staines! Yes!

Every bit of ground in England is sacred, and Staines is no exception. Founded by the Romans, the town is in the Domesday Book, and Sir Thomas More was tried and found guilty in a pub here in 1535, which is not surprising because everyone I have ever met in a pub in Staines is guilty of a serious crime.

In fact, I really don’t know why tourists bother with nearby Windsor Castle or Hampton Court Palace, when they could instead be gazing at the life-sized statue commemorating the famous linoleum factory founded by the inventor of linoleum, Sir Frederick Walton, in 1864. I bet you didn’t know that Staines is the original international world headquarters of linoleum. Yessirree!

As immortalized in the classic poem, ‘Release Every Pattern’, by Richard Price and Leona Medlin (2003):

Roll out the lino
from Staines to the world!
Release every pattern
from chessboard to twirl!
In every hopeful kitchen
let life unfurl,
bathrooms are artrooms
from soapsuds to swirl!
Roll out the lino
from Staines to the world!

That’s all I have to report, really, from Staines, in the land of Shakespeare. Missing you all!

© Copyright 2011, Southern Dysfunction

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5 Comments

Filed under Thames

5 responses to “Back to Earth

  1. Staines! What an unfortunate name for a town, but there is that illustrious industrial history to make up for it! Who knew?

    In a post full of fun facts, here’s another for you. Despite it’s much maligned reputation, linoleum is actually an environmentally friendly product (linseed oil.) As such, it is experiencing renewed popularity in the “hopeful kitchens” of hipster homeowners here. Sir W. would be proud. Roll on!

  2. Staines! What an unfortunate name for a town, but there is that illustrious industrial history to make up for it! Who knew?
    In a post full of fun facts, here’s another for you. Despite it’s much maligned reputation, linoleum is actually an environmentally friendly product (linseed oil.) As such, it is experiencing renewed popularity in the “hopeful kitchens” of hipster homeowners here. Sir W. would be proud. Roll on!

  3. Don’t forget, Sir Thomas More is actually a card-carrying Catholic saint (since 1935)! Another, er, “stain” on the fabric of your fair city. I don’t know if that makes him St. Sir Thomas More, or Sir St. Thomas More or St. Thomas More, Kt. And was he just a saint, or was he really a martyr? Maybe in his portraits artists should include a bit of linoleum in their iconography.

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